Marikay, Tony and Nancy wanted to help us get the Stench out of jail but there was a problem. The hook and ladder truck he stole belonged not to the City of Greensboro but to Guilford County. The City Council had no jurisdiction. The three of them pitched in all the cash they could afford but that was really all they could do.
"What do we do now?" Katei asked, "We've got to get Jeff out before the Tall White Aliens seize control of that genius brain of his and turn him against us."
"I guess we start taking up a collection," I replied.
"But even if we hit up everyone we know we won't be able to make that much bail?" Katei moaned. For the first time ever I saw a look of disappointment in Katei's eyes.
"Then we hit up everyone we don't know," I said.
"You mean..."
"That's right..."
Katei ran down the street with my slow fat self trailing along behind her straight to the Melvin Municipal Building where we found City Hall and the Permit Department. There we showed them our IDs, filled out some paperwork and became licensed Greensboro panhandlers ready to hit the streets to raise the Stench's bail money. "Let's split up," Katei recommended, "cover more ground that way."
"Meet back at my bike in 3 hours," I said.
"Will do," Katei said as she took off up the street.
When we returned to where we had parked people were gathered all around the Wackemall 750 and piling coins and bills on the ground beside of it as it recited poetry, this time, a story about having a flat tire.
Busted flat in Baton Rogue
stuck by the railroad track
wondering if I'll ever roll,
if he ever will come back...
"Wow," Katei giggled, "they think it's a busker. Would you look at that pile of money, it must be two feet tall."
"Yeah," I said, "It might be we should shut it up."
"But why?" Katei asked, "At that rate we'll have the Stench's bail raised in no time."
"At that rate we'll need to hire an army to carry it all," I answered. "Besides, I'm thinking we've probably got enough already."
I can't say that Jeff was glad to see me but seeing Katei made him smile and getting out of jail certainly made him feel better. His wife was waiting when he got out and ready to drag him to the car by his ear while giving him an earful. Jeff had helped us to figure out and put into motion a plan to destroy the Tall White Aliens and with help from council members Wilkins, Abuzuaiter, and Vaughan our plan was already in the works. With Greensboro tap water being slow poison to Tall White Aliens and them not knowing, we only needed to make sure that every drop of water they drank came from the city water works. To make sure it happened the Council would go on to ban bottled water for "environmental reasons" if you know what I mean.
An added benefit would be increased city revenue to make up for part of that money lost in the Dam Scam a previous City Council had screwed up a few years before. And, in keeping with keeping it local, my friend Marshall Eakes started producing refillable water bottles at his company, American Extruded Plastics and Injection Molding and went on to add a new plant and 100 new jobs.
As for Jeff, We've hired him a good lawyer who assures us he can pull off an insanity plea. After all, he did show us how to beat the Tall White Aliens.
Continue to First Time.
"What do we do now?" Katei asked, "We've got to get Jeff out before the Tall White Aliens seize control of that genius brain of his and turn him against us."
"I guess we start taking up a collection," I replied.
"But even if we hit up everyone we know we won't be able to make that much bail?" Katei moaned. For the first time ever I saw a look of disappointment in Katei's eyes.
"Then we hit up everyone we don't know," I said.
"You mean..."
"That's right..."
Katei ran down the street with my slow fat self trailing along behind her straight to the Melvin Municipal Building where we found City Hall and the Permit Department. There we showed them our IDs, filled out some paperwork and became licensed Greensboro panhandlers ready to hit the streets to raise the Stench's bail money. "Let's split up," Katei recommended, "cover more ground that way."
"Meet back at my bike in 3 hours," I said.
"Will do," Katei said as she took off up the street.
When we returned to where we had parked people were gathered all around the Wackemall 750 and piling coins and bills on the ground beside of it as it recited poetry, this time, a story about having a flat tire.
stuck by the railroad track
wondering if I'll ever roll,
if he ever will come back...
"Wow," Katei giggled, "they think it's a busker. Would you look at that pile of money, it must be two feet tall."
"Yeah," I said, "It might be we should shut it up."
"But why?" Katei asked, "At that rate we'll have the Stench's bail raised in no time."
"At that rate we'll need to hire an army to carry it all," I answered. "Besides, I'm thinking we've probably got enough already."
I can't say that Jeff was glad to see me but seeing Katei made him smile and getting out of jail certainly made him feel better. His wife was waiting when he got out and ready to drag him to the car by his ear while giving him an earful. Jeff had helped us to figure out and put into motion a plan to destroy the Tall White Aliens and with help from council members Wilkins, Abuzuaiter, and Vaughan our plan was already in the works. With Greensboro tap water being slow poison to Tall White Aliens and them not knowing, we only needed to make sure that every drop of water they drank came from the city water works. To make sure it happened the Council would go on to ban bottled water for "environmental reasons" if you know what I mean.
An added benefit would be increased city revenue to make up for part of that money lost in the Dam Scam a previous City Council had screwed up a few years before. And, in keeping with keeping it local, my friend Marshall Eakes started producing refillable water bottles at his company, American Extruded Plastics and Injection Molding and went on to add a new plant and 100 new jobs.
As for Jeff, We've hired him a good lawyer who assures us he can pull off an insanity plea. After all, he did show us how to beat the Tall White Aliens.
Continue to First Time.
