John held the guy with a firm grip while I tied him up so he couldn't try anything. Bobbie and Donny thoroughly searched his rented car and removed everything from it so that he and his things could all come back to the shop with us. Then Bobbie searched GreensboroJunkyards.com, found a nearby towing company and arranged to have the rented car towed to Burlington.
When we got to the shop, retired Federal agent, Fred Gregory was waiting there for us. "Fred, what are you doing here in the middle of the night?" I asked.
"I need your help," Fred said.
"Sure," I replied, "anything you need."
Fred explained that his former Agency department had learned that Tall White Aliens had taken over the Greensboro City Council and that while his department wanted to act, they'd been ordered to stand down. So out of frustration they contacted Fred in hopes that he might be able to muster up enough support from the outside to take down this alien threat before it was too late.
Of course, not everyone on City Council was a Tall White Alien but there was enough Tall White Alien influence to heavily manipulate the Council and everything it does to the detriment of the entire city. People were suffering as the Aliens were planning to build a secret downtown operations center disguised as a performing arts center. And of course, they planned to do it at taxpayers' expense.
"This is too weird," Bobbie said.
"You don't believe me?" Fred asked.
"There's a guy tied up in the trunk of John's car who's talking about Alien's too," Bobbie replied.
"Who is he?" Fred asked.
"He says he's the Private Secretary to the Sovereign," John answered.
"As in the Queen of England?" Fred asked.
"I guess so," John answered, "he never did say which sovereign."
"John never gave him time," Bobbie laughed.
"Well let me have a look at him," Fred said, "If he's the secretary to Queen Victoria then I know him."
"Well that would make things easier," Donny said.
"Or not," I added.
"How so?" John asked.
"How are we going to explain kidnapping the real Private Secretary to the Sovereign Queen of England?"
"Hurry up and get that trunk open," Fred grunted. "and get that guy out before this gets worse than it already is is."
__________
Running a corporation wasn't as great as I had long imagined it to be. Wackemall Inc was losing money fast no matter if the share prices were up or down. As a matter of fact, the share prices seemed to have little in common with the reality that business sucked and we weren't really management material. Of course, this wasn't anything new, we'd all been like we are for a lifetime, nothing had changed except that now we actually had shareholders who were naive enough to think they could make money by investing in Wackemall shares when in-fact the odds were better for people buying ocean front property in Kansas. I wondered if any of these shareholders understood that in Law the definition of dividend is a sum out of an insolvent estate paid to creditors.
Somehow I doubted that to be the case and pictured myself swinging from one of the tall oak trees out back of the shop. I wondered if the Veggiecycle had a poem for this too.
_________
Steve and Wooley arrived back at the shop early the next morning. "Did you miss us?" Wooley asked as they walked in.
"Miss you?" Donny asked.
"What is that smell?" Bobbie asked.
"And why are you only wearing one boot?" I asked.
"Something tells me you're never going to believe us anyway," Steve said.
"Go ahead and tell us," John said, "It couldn't be any stranger than Fred and that other guy claiming Aliens have taken over Greensboro, could it?"
"So it looks like we got back before we left," Wooley said.
"Dude," Bobbie said, "have you been drinking this early in the morning? You might want to go home and start your day over. You can't get back before you leave."
"Oh, I'm going home," Wooley said, "just as soon as someone tells me where my truck is."
"You mean you didn't drive it to work?" Bobbie asked.
"The last time I saw my truck was when Steve and I parked it in Greensboro to go crawling around in the storm drains looking for a way into the Tall White's missile silo."
"You have some strange friends," John said to Bobbie as we all stared at Wooley.
"Take my truck," I said. "The keys are in it. And try not to lose it."
Continue to Paranoia
When we got to the shop, retired Federal agent, Fred Gregory was waiting there for us. "Fred, what are you doing here in the middle of the night?" I asked.
"I need your help," Fred said.
"Sure," I replied, "anything you need."
Fred explained that his former Agency department had learned that Tall White Aliens had taken over the Greensboro City Council and that while his department wanted to act, they'd been ordered to stand down. So out of frustration they contacted Fred in hopes that he might be able to muster up enough support from the outside to take down this alien threat before it was too late.
Of course, not everyone on City Council was a Tall White Alien but there was enough Tall White Alien influence to heavily manipulate the Council and everything it does to the detriment of the entire city. People were suffering as the Aliens were planning to build a secret downtown operations center disguised as a performing arts center. And of course, they planned to do it at taxpayers' expense.
"This is too weird," Bobbie said.
"You don't believe me?" Fred asked.
"There's a guy tied up in the trunk of John's car who's talking about Alien's too," Bobbie replied.
"Who is he?" Fred asked.
"He says he's the Private Secretary to the Sovereign," John answered.
"As in the Queen of England?" Fred asked.
"I guess so," John answered, "he never did say which sovereign."
"John never gave him time," Bobbie laughed.
"Well let me have a look at him," Fred said, "If he's the secretary to Queen Victoria then I know him."
"Well that would make things easier," Donny said.
"Or not," I added.
"How so?" John asked.
"How are we going to explain kidnapping the real Private Secretary to the Sovereign Queen of England?"
"Hurry up and get that trunk open," Fred grunted. "and get that guy out before this gets worse than it already is is."
__________
Running a corporation wasn't as great as I had long imagined it to be. Wackemall Inc was losing money fast no matter if the share prices were up or down. As a matter of fact, the share prices seemed to have little in common with the reality that business sucked and we weren't really management material. Of course, this wasn't anything new, we'd all been like we are for a lifetime, nothing had changed except that now we actually had shareholders who were naive enough to think they could make money by investing in Wackemall shares when in-fact the odds were better for people buying ocean front property in Kansas. I wondered if any of these shareholders understood that in Law the definition of dividend is a sum out of an insolvent estate paid to creditors.
Somehow I doubted that to be the case and pictured myself swinging from one of the tall oak trees out back of the shop. I wondered if the Veggiecycle had a poem for this too.
_________
Steve and Wooley arrived back at the shop early the next morning. "Did you miss us?" Wooley asked as they walked in.
"Miss you?" Donny asked.
"What is that smell?" Bobbie asked.
"And why are you only wearing one boot?" I asked.
"Something tells me you're never going to believe us anyway," Steve said.
"Go ahead and tell us," John said, "It couldn't be any stranger than Fred and that other guy claiming Aliens have taken over Greensboro, could it?"
"So it looks like we got back before we left," Wooley said.
"Dude," Bobbie said, "have you been drinking this early in the morning? You might want to go home and start your day over. You can't get back before you leave."
"Oh, I'm going home," Wooley said, "just as soon as someone tells me where my truck is."
"You mean you didn't drive it to work?" Bobbie asked.
"The last time I saw my truck was when Steve and I parked it in Greensboro to go crawling around in the storm drains looking for a way into the Tall White's missile silo."
"You have some strange friends," John said to Bobbie as we all stared at Wooley.
"Take my truck," I said. "The keys are in it. And try not to lose it."
Continue to Paranoia
