Back at the shop business was picking up. Of course business always picks up when people start riding more. Instead of getting their bikes ready in the winter when the shops are slow, most people wait until the weather is nice before they even remember they have a broken motorcycle parked in the back of the garage. And while we've never liked taking in customer repair work preferring to build and sell bikes instead, some customers just won't let you say no and are willing to pay enough money to make sure you don't. I guess that's why I got used to doing more riding in the winter than in summer.
John came into the shop one morning with an announcement, "I've got free passes for all of us to the North Carolina Zoo in Asheboro."
"Really," Steve said, "I haven't been there since my kids were small."
"Me neither," Wooley said."
"I took my granddaughter there a couple of years ago," Donny said. "It's a really great zoo."
"I used to go camping there before it was a zoo," I said. "We used to catch buckets full of rattlesnakes and cook 'em. But I've never been to the zoo there."
"Man, you need to go," Lemar said.
"Really," Bobbie agreed, "you don't know what you're missing out on."
Minutes later we were locking up the shop, mounting our bikes and making our way to Asheboro and the North Carolina Zoo.
________
What? You thought I was going to follow up on that encounter between Bobbie and I in the last episode? Like hell, I am. What do you think this story is, pornography? The chic's got class and I'll kick anyone's ass who says otherwise. Besides, what happens on the beach stays on the beach.
Back in Greensboro the Tall Whites on the City Staff announced the city budget deficit had gone from $6.5 Million Dollars to $7.1 Million Dollars. Their solution was to spend half a million dollars more to change all the signs and rename High Point Rd to an as yet undisclosed name.
That's right, SSDD.
________
We had only been inside the zoo a few minutes when we noticed several men inside the Africa Exibits who appeared to be tearing down the barriers that kept the animals in the zoo. "Hey," John asked one of the zoo workers, "are those guys supposed to be letting the animals out?"
"I don't think so," the zoo worker said. "I'll go ask my boss."
"Well you better hurry," Lemar shouted, "That guy over there just poked that elephant with a cattle prod!"
"And it's headed straight for Asheboro!" John shouted.
"Come on," Bobbie screamed as she ran towards the exit, "We've got to stop them!"
Everyone ran outside and to the parking lot where our bikes were waiting has hundreds of shocked elephants, rhinos, hippos, lions, gorillas ostriches, giraffes, zebras, African bush hogs and others ran wild, many of them for the first time in their lives, stampeding straight towards the City of Asheboro trampling down fences, small buildings and even a few houses along their way!
Of course, I didn't run. Well, maybe a few steps but I was soon out of breath. But I got to the Veggicycle as quickly as I could, strapped on my helmet and said, "You're driving, get me to the front of the line."
"She's riding really fast," the Veggiecycle said. "Are you sure you're up to going that fast?"
"No," I replied, "but do it anyway. I'm not going to let her die without me dying with her."
"One death wish coming up," the Veggiecycle warned as we launched on the fastest overland journey I've ever traveled in my entire life and faster than I plan to ever go again.
"Your speedometer just broke," I said.
"You can fix it," the Veggiecycle said.
"If I live long enough," I agreed.
We arrived on the edge of town where Bobbie had stopped her bike and got off to face the approaching herds. Somewhere in the blur we had passed the others who were now pulling up behind us. "What are you going to do?" I asked.
"Stop them," Bobbie said.
"How?" I asked. "How can you stop a stampeded?"
"I don't know?" Bobbie said as she started running towards them.
I tried to stop her. I ran after her as if she really was my own granddaughter, Or daughter. I ran as hard as I could run until the pain in my chest overwhelmed me, everything went black and I found myself face down in the dirt. The next thing I knew Donny, Steve and Wooley were lifting me from the ground as Lemar and John ran after Bobbie who was at least 300 yards ahead of them staring straight at a charging bull elephant!
There was nothing we could do.
"Shoot it," Lemar radioed. "You guys have guns, shoot it!"
"Handguns at this range," Steve radioed back. "Not a chance."
"What do we do?" John shouted.
"Nothing you can do," Wooley radioed back.
"Pray for a miracle," Donny radioed.
We watched as Bobbie stood facing the charging elephants, so tiny in comparison, knowing nothing any of us could do or say could change her fate. If there is even one of us who says he wasn't already balling his eyes out at that point I'll call him a liar to his face and gladly take my beating. We were at that point, six very broken hearted men, young, old, black and white for the fact is: there wasn't a single one of us who didn't love Bobbie more than we loved life itself. She had become for six men the very reason we did everything we did and at that moment our reason was about to die.
Bobbie raised both her arms straight from her body and stood there facing the charging bull elephant with open palms. We watched as it closed in on her, the other animals close behind. Then just when it appeared that we had lost Bobbie forever the raging bull stopped running and stared at her intently as the other animals stopped behind it.
The giant elephant then started roaring, rumbling, grunting and trumpeting a number of very angry sounding calls right in Bobbie's face. All the while Bobbie stood there motionless. After several minutes the elephant reached out with his trunk and touched Bobbie's head. Slowly, Bobbie brought first one hand then the other to rub the elephant's trunk.
"Gentlemen," I radioed having finally caught my breath. "I think we just witnessed something only a handful of soldiers in the history of the world have ever seen."
"Soldiers?" Lemar questioned.
"That's right," Steve said. "You're in the army now. You just witnessed the birth of one of the greatest leaders the world has ever known."
We rode slowly back to the zoo with most of the animals happy to follow Bobbie back to where they were supposed to be. A few remained loose but not so many that local authorities couldn't handle the job and none that were of any grave concern to humans. That evening, after I went home, Bobbie dropped by to talk with me. "Listen," Bobbie asked, "about that night on the beach."
"What about it?" I asked. "You had a little much to drink and you passed out."
"But I kissed you," Bobbie said.
"You must have been dreaming," I laughed. "You never kissed me."
"I didn't," Bobbie asked, "are you sure?"
"You don't think I'd remember being kissed by someone as hot as you," I answered.
"I would hope so," Bobbie said.
"Believe me," I said, "a kiss from a hottie like you would be a life changing experience for a lonely old man like me. I could never forget it. But it never happened, okay?"
"Then I dreamed it?" Bobbie asked.
"That's right," I said, "You must have dreamed it."
"But why would I dream something like that?" Bobbie asked.
"Who knows," I answered. "Over the years I've had lots of crazy dreams. I've even talked to my many therapists about them."
"What did they say?" Bobbie asked.
"The quacks told me all kinds of BS about how it was my inner self expressing myself or how I was seeing my future." I answered.
"And the ones who weren't quacks?" Bobby asked. "What did they say about your dreams?"
"Same thing I told you," I replied, "Who knows?"
"Too bad," Bobbie smiled as she got on her bike to ride home.
"Yeah, too bad," I said as I turned to look the other way so she wouldn't see the tears welling up in my eyes. I was thinking I might need to call my therapist and see if he can work me in.
Continue to Grilled.
