We finished putting the final touches on the Wackemall Tadpole Trike before Noon and Donny said, "Who wants to wake up at the beach tomorrow?"
"We all do," Lemar said.
"Good," Donny said, "'Cause you're driving the service truck while all the rest of us ride bikes and take turns trying out the new trike."
"Really?" Bobbie said, "We're going to the beach?"
"That's right," Wooley said. "The guy who bought the trike is a friend of mine and he's invited all of us to come down and visit when we deliver the trike."
"So when are we leaving?" John asked.
"As soon as you can get home, pack a bag, get back here and throw it in the truck," Steve answered.
"You don't have to tell me twice," Lemar shouted as he ran towards the door.
"Me neither," John said.
"Hey guys, wait up," Bobbie shouted. "I rode to work with you today, remember?"
"Remember when we used to be like that," I said as the three of them ran out the door.
"You can remember back that far?" Donny laughed.
"No," I laughed, "but I was hoping the rest of you could remind me of what it was like."
"Don't look at me," Wooley said. "I got over beach trips when it changed from sleeping on the beach for free to renting hotel rooms for all the in-laws."
"Amen to that," Steve said. "Well hopefully your friend won't change his mind once we get there."
"If he does we'll "lose" the keys to his trike," Wooley laughed holding his fingers to represent quotes.
"So what did your wife say about you taking off?" I asked.
"She's glad to have me out of her hair," Wooley said. "She deserves a break."
"You're a lucky man," Steve said.
"What?" Wooley asked, "The fact that I'm still married?"
"No," Donny replied, "The fact that she hasn't killed you with her service weapon. Not many bikers could survive being married to a cop."
"I know when to shut my mouth," Wooley smiled.
"Had I learned that I might still be married," I said.
"It's never too late," Steve said.
"It ain't going to happen," Donny laughed. "No woman wants an old dog that's not already house broken."
"Nobody knows me better than my little brother," I laughed. "Let's look over that trike one last time while the kids are packing their bags."
"So," the Veggiecycle said, "I hear we're going on a trip."
"We sure are," I answered.
"I'm due for an oil change, you know."
"I've got some brand new synthetic oil just for you," I said.
"Good," the Veggiecycle said. "That stuff feels good inside. I guess I'll have to burn pump gas on the way back."
"Nope," Wooley said, "Steve and I installed a brand new second tank in the service truck and filled it to the top with Brian's Kudzu Super Fuel. Enough to get us all there and back."
"Where's Brian Heagney been lately?" the Veggicycle asked. "I haven't seen him around in a while."
"He's busy earning a living and taking care of his little girl," I answered. "In a few years, when she becomes a teenager and starts ignoring him, then he'll have time to come back around."
"How do you know she'll start ignoring him?" the Veggiecycle asked.
"Trust me, it happens to all fathers," Wooley said.
"Sometimes more than once," Steve agreed.
"So is everybody riding?" the Veggicycle asked.
"Everybody but Lemar," I answered. "He's stuck driving the truck."
"I remember how much fun those rides used to be," the Veggiecycle said as he began to recite Bored And Stroked, another of the tales of his previous life with Veggie Head Stalker.
to blaze a trail of glory,
change the world, have some fun
and write our own life's story.
We'd celebrate by running great...
"Well that does it," I said, "Your oil is changed. Anything else you need before we go?"
"My buddy seat," the Veggiecycle said. "You never know when I might get lucky."
"Yeah," I laughed, "your luck's running better than mine. One buddy seat coming up."
________
The world being what it is, some things stay the same and some things never change. And hacks will always write with sad, worn out clichés. Who was I but a hack? "Why are you even writing this crap?" Donny asked me. "You know nobody believes a word of it."
"I know," I replied, "but if I don't let the words get out of me I feel as if I'm going to explode."
"Have you ever thought of seeing a therapist?" Donny asked.
"I see my therapist once a week," I replied.
"What does your therapist tell you?" Donny asked.
"To write what's on my mind," I answered.
"And all of this nonsense is on your mind?" Donny asked.
"I guess so," I answered.
"I'm having you committed," Donny said.
"After I finish writing our story," I replied. "Then I'll go."
________
We were almost to Raleigh on Interstate 40 with Bobbie leading on the trike and Lemar bringing up the rear in the service truck when we found ourselves in the center lane with tractor-trailers lined up nose to tail on either side of us. "Are those trucks supposed to be in the left lane?" Bobbie radioed.
"No they're not," I replied,"Let's pick up the pace so they can have this center lane and we can get out of their way. I don't like being boxed in like this."
We began to pick up speed but before we could clear the front of the line the trucks to the left and right began to close in on us. We quickly went from staggered formation to single file and continued to accelerate but the trucks closed in even tighter! "They're too close!" Bobbie shouted. "I can't get through!"
"And they're getting closer!" Lemar shouted. "What are we going to do?"
"Start slowing down," Wooley shouted, "Let them have the road!"
"No good!" Lemar shouted. "They're already bumping me!"
"We have got to find a better way to make deliveries," Bobbie shouted, "This is not fun!"
We all watched as the sparks began to fly as the two trucks closed in on Bobbie with no way out...
Continue to Crashing The Gate
