Steve and I arrived at work early, set up a folding table in the shop floor and started preparing breakfast for the rest. "Those hash browns don't smell right," Donny said as he walked in the door past where I was cooking on a small two burner range. "I'm not eating 'taders that spell like that."
"Somebody is cooking hash brown turnips?" Bobbie said as she came in the door. "I love hash brown turnips."
"I wouldn't eat 'taders that smelled like that either," I laughed. "But I will eat turnips that smell like that."
"Me too," Wooley said as he came in the door.
"Am I the only one here who has never heard of hash brown turnips?" Donny asked.
"Yes," we all answered almost in unison and laughing beside ourselves.
"So what's this meeting about?" John asked. "And please don't tell me it's more nonsense about Aliens or I'm going to start thinking Bobbie has some really weird friends."
"We won't tell you that it's about Aliens," I said.
"Good," John said.
"We'll let a Federal agent and the Private Secretary to the Sovereign Queen of England tell you," Steve said.
"How do you like your homegrown organic eggs?" I asked.
"I prefer mine poached with biscuits and tea," the man with the British accent said walking into the room.
"Guys, allow me to introduce you to The Right Honourable, Sir Christopher Geidt, Private Secretary to the Sovereign Queen of England," Fred said as he walked into the room. "And Sir Geidt, you might not want to go ordering biscuits and tea around these parts as they might not be anything like what you're used to."
"Oh, it's quite alright," Sir Geidt replied, "many years in the military taught me to eat almost anything and like it."
"Sir, about last night," John said.
"Well," Sir Geidt asked, "Have you ever considered applying with the Royal Secret Service? We could always use a few good men."
"Ah," John stammered, "I was thinking more along the lines of the Royal Shakespeare Company.
"When I return to London I'll make a couple of calls," Sir Geidt offered, "Perhaps they're in need of a security guard who might then act his way onto the stage."
_________
Somehow the Downtown Greensboro Interdimensionals managed to work out a deal to keep the City Council from running them out of town. How DGI could get caught stealing from the taxpayers red handed and be allowed to stay was something no one could understand but we knew nothing good could come from it. One way or the other their secret society and everything it represented had to go if our city was to survive. But it looked as if there was nothing we could do, no one we could turn to.
__________
After breakfast we gave Sir Geidt a tour of the shop. "Tell me," Sir Geidt asked, "is it true that you have a talking motorcycle or has Her Majesty's Secret Service flipped their royal lids?"
"Oh it's true," Fred said, "they have a talking motorcycle alright. The Agency has been watching them for months trying to figure it out."
"Really," Bobbie huffed, "the government is watching us?"
"The government is watching everybody," Steve said. "Haven't you been reading about it in Yes! Weekly?"
"Yeah," Bobbie answered, "but I thought that was just the local cops."
"What do you think they spend that $80.1 Billion Dollar Federal Defense Intelligence budget on," Wooley quipped, "terrorism?"
"Hey," Fred laughed, "we need jobs too."
"So where is this talking motorcycle?" Sir Geidt questioned. "Do I get to see it?"
"You already see it," the Veggicycle said. "If you'd like you can talk to me too."
"By golly, you really do talk," Sir Geidt exclaimed.
"Yes," the Veggiecycle said, but not like you."
"That's because Sir Geidt is from London where he works for the Queen of England," Fred explained.
"Veggie and I went to London once," the Veggiecycle said. Then he started reciting London Fog, a story about his experience there and one of many such poems he would bore us with over time.
down by the Borough Market,
Veggie glad I'm not a car
as there was no place to park it.
We motored on to Buckingham..."
"I think that's enough poetry for now," I said as I lead Sir Geidt and the others back to the table. "I think it's time we all sat down and talked about this Alien nonsense so we can get back to work and earn a living.
"Yeah," John said, "or I'll have to call Scottie to beam me up."
