We parked our bikes in front of Mahi's Seafood Restaurant where the owner, Marikay Abuzuaiter greeted us at the door, "Hello Billy, welcome to Mahi's, won't you come in?"
"You know her?" Steve asked.
"Marikay's on the Greensboro City Council," I replied, "but she also owns some businesses over on my side of town."
"Is there anybody in Greensboro Billy doesn't know?" Marikay smiled as she lead us to our tables.
"That's what I'm afraid of," Donny grumbled.
We went through a round of introductions and when done Marikay went to get our servers. I noticed there was some concern on her wait staff's faces and a bit of delay but finally Marikay and one dude, a kid almost, came to take our orders. I could see Marikay was embarrassed so I whispered to her, "Don't worry about it, happens all the time. Veggie's used to it by now."
Marikay whispered, "I'm so sorry."
Dinner was great. We ate and drank and ate and drank. Iced tea for me as alcohol interacts with my prescription medications in ways that aren't always pretty to watch but everybody had a good time. We had so much fun we were convinced that even the prospects stuck back at the shop were having a good time even if they weren't. Besides, we ordered takeout for them as well.
We were almost ready to go when a group of leather clad bikers came riding up out front. "Would you look at that." Wooley said.
"What is it?" Lynyrd asked.
"Looks like a 1956 Douglas Dragonfly," Wooley answered. Suddenly Lynyrd, the Wild Salsa Gang, Veggie and I were all dead silent, staring at each other and out the windows as the bikers parked and took off their helmets.
"It's always bad when they stop talking," Donny said.
"Real bad," Steve agreed.
"I'm wishing I'd brought my guns," I said as they walked towards the door.
"Wouldn't do you no good," Lynyrd replied, "The Angels of Death Without Mercy have Kevlar under their leather head to toe and they move too fast to ever get off a head shot."
The Angels of Death Without Mercy were the baddest of the bad, an all female group of outlaw bikers who made their living as professional killers. They could out hit, jump, punch, run, cut and shoot any man they had ever come up against. They worked for drug lords, governments, multinational corporations and sometimes other biker gangs. They guaranteed results or your money back and they never gave your money back. As they walked into Mahi's, the leader of the gang, a tall amazon who went by the name, Lethal, looked at Lynyrd and said, "Well if it ain't the Wild Salsa Gang. I thought we ran you little boys out of the state."
"You did, Miss Lethal," Lynyrd replied.
"They why are you here?"
"Well Miss Lethal," Lynyrd answered, "that was California, we're in North Carolina now. Different state, understand?"
"Well as far as I'm concerned you should have known we were coming and got out of North Carolina before we got here, understand?"
"Yes, Ma'am," Lynyrd replied, "would it be okay if we paid our bill before we go?"
"I guess," Lethal answered before looking my way. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"
My mind was racing, there was no way out. Lethal and The Angels of Death Without Mercy were the very killers who'd been hired by Monsanto to kill Veggie all those years ago. If she or any of her gang remembered me or saw Veggie it would be world war three right there in the middle of Mahi's Seafood Restaurant and we had not come prepared to fight. I still remembered her cutting Veggie's body to pieces with his very own Wackemall Machete and tossing him into the compost pile. "Come closer," she said, "let me get a better look."
I walked over to her and looked her directly in the eyes. The last time I'd seen her my hair was dark, now my hair is completely gray and time has taken its toll on my face. My beard is much longer than it was then and I was hoping the years would disguise me. "What's your name?" she asked.
"Joe," I answered, "Joe D Beard."
"Well Mister Joe D Beard, you and your friends need to get on your motorcycles and run along, understand?"
"Yes Ma'am," I replied as I headed towards the door. I figured I could come back and pay Marikay another day rather than risk wrecking her restaurant and my health.
I was almost to the door when one of Lethal's girls shouted, "Hey Lethal, lookie what I done found. It's another green guy."
"Another one?" Lethal shouted, "how could there be another one?" Lethal made her way over to Veggie and stared at him not saying a word for the longest time. "This can't be. I killed you but here you are. You're older, a lot older but you are defiantly Veggie Head Stalker. How can this be?"
Veggie didn't say a word. What could he do? There he was, an old man who couldn't walk without a cane facing a professional killer 50 years younger than he was and none of us with any weapons. If word got back to Monsanto that Veggie was still alive then the Angels of Death Without Mercy would themselves become targets, Lethal wasn't going to let any of us live. "Well," she said, "Looks like I'm just going to have to kill you again."
"Ayiiieeee!" a blood curdling scream rang out from across the room as Marikay vaulted across the counter to plant both feet against Lethal's head. "Nobody dies in my restaurant unless I kill 'em, understand!"
Before we knew what was going on the entire staff at Mahi's Seafood Restaurant was jumping, chopping, kicking and rolling like something from a Bruce Lee movie, bodies flying everywhere, bones breaking, girls crying, it was awful. And in less than 2 minutes flat the entire Angels of Death Without Mercy Motorcycle Gang were knocked out and tied up on the floor while Marikay called the Chief of Police to come clean up the mess.
I didn't know what to say. Donny looked around the room and said, "See what I mean, everywhere he goes, all hell breaks loose."
"But it wasn't Billy's fault," Marikay said catching her breath.
"But it always happens," Donny said, "It's been like this my whole life."
"Hey Marikay," I asked, "Where'd you learn to fight like that?"
"We've been taking classes from Ed Catalano at Defensive Martial Arts, Inc.," Marikay again took a deep breath. "He's the best."
"Wow," Wooley said, "I bet your husband doesn't give you no lip.
Continue to Waxing Poetic.
"You know her?" Steve asked.
"Marikay's on the Greensboro City Council," I replied, "but she also owns some businesses over on my side of town."
"Is there anybody in Greensboro Billy doesn't know?" Marikay smiled as she lead us to our tables.
"That's what I'm afraid of," Donny grumbled.
We went through a round of introductions and when done Marikay went to get our servers. I noticed there was some concern on her wait staff's faces and a bit of delay but finally Marikay and one dude, a kid almost, came to take our orders. I could see Marikay was embarrassed so I whispered to her, "Don't worry about it, happens all the time. Veggie's used to it by now."
Marikay whispered, "I'm so sorry."
Dinner was great. We ate and drank and ate and drank. Iced tea for me as alcohol interacts with my prescription medications in ways that aren't always pretty to watch but everybody had a good time. We had so much fun we were convinced that even the prospects stuck back at the shop were having a good time even if they weren't. Besides, we ordered takeout for them as well.
We were almost ready to go when a group of leather clad bikers came riding up out front. "Would you look at that." Wooley said.
"What is it?" Lynyrd asked.
"Looks like a 1956 Douglas Dragonfly," Wooley answered. Suddenly Lynyrd, the Wild Salsa Gang, Veggie and I were all dead silent, staring at each other and out the windows as the bikers parked and took off their helmets.
"It's always bad when they stop talking," Donny said.
"Real bad," Steve agreed.
"I'm wishing I'd brought my guns," I said as they walked towards the door.
"Wouldn't do you no good," Lynyrd replied, "The Angels of Death Without Mercy have Kevlar under their leather head to toe and they move too fast to ever get off a head shot."
The Angels of Death Without Mercy were the baddest of the bad, an all female group of outlaw bikers who made their living as professional killers. They could out hit, jump, punch, run, cut and shoot any man they had ever come up against. They worked for drug lords, governments, multinational corporations and sometimes other biker gangs. They guaranteed results or your money back and they never gave your money back. As they walked into Mahi's, the leader of the gang, a tall amazon who went by the name, Lethal, looked at Lynyrd and said, "Well if it ain't the Wild Salsa Gang. I thought we ran you little boys out of the state."
"You did, Miss Lethal," Lynyrd replied.
"They why are you here?"
"Well Miss Lethal," Lynyrd answered, "that was California, we're in North Carolina now. Different state, understand?"
"Well as far as I'm concerned you should have known we were coming and got out of North Carolina before we got here, understand?"
"Yes, Ma'am," Lynyrd replied, "would it be okay if we paid our bill before we go?"
"I guess," Lethal answered before looking my way. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"
My mind was racing, there was no way out. Lethal and The Angels of Death Without Mercy were the very killers who'd been hired by Monsanto to kill Veggie all those years ago. If she or any of her gang remembered me or saw Veggie it would be world war three right there in the middle of Mahi's Seafood Restaurant and we had not come prepared to fight. I still remembered her cutting Veggie's body to pieces with his very own Wackemall Machete and tossing him into the compost pile. "Come closer," she said, "let me get a better look."
I walked over to her and looked her directly in the eyes. The last time I'd seen her my hair was dark, now my hair is completely gray and time has taken its toll on my face. My beard is much longer than it was then and I was hoping the years would disguise me. "What's your name?" she asked.
"Joe," I answered, "Joe D Beard."
"Well Mister Joe D Beard, you and your friends need to get on your motorcycles and run along, understand?"
"Yes Ma'am," I replied as I headed towards the door. I figured I could come back and pay Marikay another day rather than risk wrecking her restaurant and my health.
I was almost to the door when one of Lethal's girls shouted, "Hey Lethal, lookie what I done found. It's another green guy."
"Another one?" Lethal shouted, "how could there be another one?" Lethal made her way over to Veggie and stared at him not saying a word for the longest time. "This can't be. I killed you but here you are. You're older, a lot older but you are defiantly Veggie Head Stalker. How can this be?"
Veggie didn't say a word. What could he do? There he was, an old man who couldn't walk without a cane facing a professional killer 50 years younger than he was and none of us with any weapons. If word got back to Monsanto that Veggie was still alive then the Angels of Death Without Mercy would themselves become targets, Lethal wasn't going to let any of us live. "Well," she said, "Looks like I'm just going to have to kill you again."
"Ayiiieeee!" a blood curdling scream rang out from across the room as Marikay vaulted across the counter to plant both feet against Lethal's head. "Nobody dies in my restaurant unless I kill 'em, understand!"
Before we knew what was going on the entire staff at Mahi's Seafood Restaurant was jumping, chopping, kicking and rolling like something from a Bruce Lee movie, bodies flying everywhere, bones breaking, girls crying, it was awful. And in less than 2 minutes flat the entire Angels of Death Without Mercy Motorcycle Gang were knocked out and tied up on the floor while Marikay called the Chief of Police to come clean up the mess.
I didn't know what to say. Donny looked around the room and said, "See what I mean, everywhere he goes, all hell breaks loose."
"But it wasn't Billy's fault," Marikay said catching her breath.
"But it always happens," Donny said, "It's been like this my whole life."
"Hey Marikay," I asked, "Where'd you learn to fight like that?"
"We've been taking classes from Ed Catalano at Defensive Martial Arts, Inc.," Marikay again took a deep breath. "He's the best."
"Wow," Wooley said, "I bet your husband doesn't give you no lip.
Continue to Waxing Poetic.
