The next few months were hard. We watched the alien headquarters in shifts until we established their habits then recruited some Downtown Greensboro residents-- homeless people mostly-- to help us watch them. One somewhat well-to-do local business man rented rooms full time at the Downtown Greensboro Marriott where our spies could watch the Tall Whites without being detected.
One day while I was meeting with some of our spies at yodaddy desert bar a guy named George Hartzman walked into the restaurant. George had recently been featured in Rolling Stone Magazine for blowing the lid on some crooked banksters. "I hear you're going after the Tall White Aliens," George said.
"How'd you find out?" I asked.
"Oh, you know me," George said, "there's not much goes on in Greensboro I don't know about."
"That's true," I said. "You seem to have a handle on local intelligence."
"Or the lack thereof," George laughed. I couldn't help but laugh with him. Watching the Tall Whites was reminiscent of the aliens from the movie, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, "no matter where you go... there you are."
It was amazing to both of us how a race of such seemingly stupid creatures could have managed to travel here from another planet somewhere. George speculated that something in Earth's atmosphere, something they had not realized was present, was responsible for their almost endless stupidity and careless mistakes. "What alien in his right mind," George asked, "would build a hide out disguised as a performing arts center when we know the aliens hate loud music? It has to be something in the Earth's atmosphere that's driving them out of their minds."
"You know, George," I replied, "You just might be on to something. And if we can figure out what that thing is we can use it to push them right over the edge without ever firing a shot."
"Not if the Stench gets there first," George said.
"I've got people watching Jeff Martin 24/7," I replied. "If he makes a move we take him out."
"You know," George said, "if the two of you could get along you could run this whole city."
"Yeah," I agreed, "but then I'd never have time to ride motorcycles.
____
"Check this out," Donny said.
"What is it?" Wooley asked.
"When I flip this switch all the tools on the bench move away from that coil there in the middle." Donny answered.
"Yeah, so, electromagnets are nothing new," Wooley smiled.
"Do electromagnets work on paper, plastic or people?" Donny asked.
"Of course not," Wooley answered, "they only work on ferrous metals like iron, steel and bromide."
"Try to move your hand close to it." Donny said.
As Wooley moved his hand closer to the coil, Donny flipped the switch, "Ouch!" Wooley shouted as his hand was knocked away as if by an invisible bat. "What the hell was that?"
"Eddy currents," Donny laughed. "They're kinda like electromagnets only different."
"I've heard of those," Steve said, "They use those for brakes on roller-coasters. They never wear out."
"They're used in recycling too," I added, "to separate different kinds of materials."
"Is this some kind of weapon?" Fred asked. "Something we can use against the aliens?"
"I think it's more of a defensive weapon," Donny replied, "like a force field we could set up around a car or a motorcycle."
"Wouldn't it pitch the rider off the back of the motorcycle?" Fred asked.
"If it's set up properly it will help him to stay on better and still keep others away," Donny answered.
"You know," Fred said, "If you can build these things you could sell them by the millions. Why the Agency alone would want thousands of them no matter what the cost."
"I'll have the first one working by tomorrow," Donny said.
"I'm calling my broker," Fred said. "I'm buying stock in Wackemall Inc."
"Hey Fred," I asked, "Isn't that insider trading?"
"I'm not going to tell anyone," Fred smiled, "are you?"
"I think we need to get a broker," Steve said.
"That would defiantly be seen as insider trading," I cautioned. "Besides, the three of you already own 51%, just wait for it to go up in value."
Continue to Fecund Stench.
One day while I was meeting with some of our spies at yodaddy desert bar a guy named George Hartzman walked into the restaurant. George had recently been featured in Rolling Stone Magazine for blowing the lid on some crooked banksters. "I hear you're going after the Tall White Aliens," George said.
"How'd you find out?" I asked.
"Oh, you know me," George said, "there's not much goes on in Greensboro I don't know about."
"That's true," I said. "You seem to have a handle on local intelligence."
"Or the lack thereof," George laughed. I couldn't help but laugh with him. Watching the Tall Whites was reminiscent of the aliens from the movie, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, "no matter where you go... there you are."
It was amazing to both of us how a race of such seemingly stupid creatures could have managed to travel here from another planet somewhere. George speculated that something in Earth's atmosphere, something they had not realized was present, was responsible for their almost endless stupidity and careless mistakes. "What alien in his right mind," George asked, "would build a hide out disguised as a performing arts center when we know the aliens hate loud music? It has to be something in the Earth's atmosphere that's driving them out of their minds."
"You know, George," I replied, "You just might be on to something. And if we can figure out what that thing is we can use it to push them right over the edge without ever firing a shot."
"Not if the Stench gets there first," George said.
"I've got people watching Jeff Martin 24/7," I replied. "If he makes a move we take him out."
"You know," George said, "if the two of you could get along you could run this whole city."
"Yeah," I agreed, "but then I'd never have time to ride motorcycles.
____
"Check this out," Donny said.
"What is it?" Wooley asked.
"When I flip this switch all the tools on the bench move away from that coil there in the middle." Donny answered.
"Yeah, so, electromagnets are nothing new," Wooley smiled.
"Do electromagnets work on paper, plastic or people?" Donny asked.
"Of course not," Wooley answered, "they only work on ferrous metals like iron, steel and bromide."
"Try to move your hand close to it." Donny said.
As Wooley moved his hand closer to the coil, Donny flipped the switch, "Ouch!" Wooley shouted as his hand was knocked away as if by an invisible bat. "What the hell was that?"
"Eddy currents," Donny laughed. "They're kinda like electromagnets only different."
"I've heard of those," Steve said, "They use those for brakes on roller-coasters. They never wear out."
"They're used in recycling too," I added, "to separate different kinds of materials."
"Is this some kind of weapon?" Fred asked. "Something we can use against the aliens?"
"I think it's more of a defensive weapon," Donny replied, "like a force field we could set up around a car or a motorcycle."
"Wouldn't it pitch the rider off the back of the motorcycle?" Fred asked.
"If it's set up properly it will help him to stay on better and still keep others away," Donny answered.
"You know," Fred said, "If you can build these things you could sell them by the millions. Why the Agency alone would want thousands of them no matter what the cost."
"I'll have the first one working by tomorrow," Donny said.
"I'm calling my broker," Fred said. "I'm buying stock in Wackemall Inc."
"Hey Fred," I asked, "Isn't that insider trading?"
"I'm not going to tell anyone," Fred smiled, "are you?"
"I think we need to get a broker," Steve said.
"That would defiantly be seen as insider trading," I cautioned. "Besides, the three of you already own 51%, just wait for it to go up in value."
Continue to Fecund Stench.
