So I made a call to Burnup and Singed Attorneys At Law and made my appointment to come down and fill out some paperwork, stopped by my insurance company then made my way to the Golden Gate NC DMV License Tag Office recently reopened by my old friend, Jack and his wife both who used to work at the hardware store. Jack has really turned that place around since he took over and in minutes I was on my way with plates and all the legal documents necessary to ride the Wackemall 750. Of course, I still had to finish putting it back together but that would come in time.
Donny had given me a ride as the guys were no longer leaving me alone for even a second except to go to the bathroom and then only after they made sure it was empty. "Now let me get this straight," Donny asked, "All those years ago after you left the Wild Salsa Gang, you and the crazy green dude that Momma hated traveled around the world attacking fields full of vegetables?"
"Well, Veggie did most of the attacking," I replied. "I mostly just went along as his scribe."
"And that didn't seem crazy to you at the time?" Donny asked.
"They were geneticly modified vegetables."
"So."
"So, Monsanto, Ciba-Geigy, Syngenta, Dupont, Conoco and the rest of the Ag-Industrial Complex was trying to use geneticly modified foods as a form of worldwide mind control so they could turn us all into slaves."
"And you believed that?" Donny asked.
"Veggie showed me the internal documents he smuggled out of Wackemall Inc as they were kicking him out of his own company," I shouted. "I know it was true!"
"Lower your voice," Donny told me. Donny tells me quite often to lower my voice when I get irritated and while he's right it usually pisses me off. "So why didn't you go to the government?"
"We did go to the government," I moaned with my head in my hands. I got 30 days in isolation and Veggie barely escaped with his life. Watch out for that truck!"
Donny brought his pick-up to a screaching hault barely missing the tractor-trailer rig that had stopped in front of us while he was looking at me in disbelief. "They put you in jail?" he asked. "For what?"
"They never charged me with anything," I answered. "They just kept asking me all kinds of questions I didn't know anything about, shooting me up with drugs and deprived me of sleep until I went out of my mind. After that, the next thing I remember they were pushing me out onto the street. I didn't even know where I was."
"How'd you get home."
"I just started walking and after a couple of days when he was sure no one was following me, Veggie popped up out of nowhere and rescued me."
"And that's why you started riding with Veggie and left the motorcycle gang?"
"I guess so," I replied, "I never thought about it at the time, it all just sort of happened. Truck's moving, you can go now."
"So you think the government is in on this?" Donny asked.
"I know someone in the government is in on it," I answered. "I don't know who, how long or how many but those were FBI agents that locked me up without charges all those years ago, I know that because Veggie and I went to the FBI office with the documents to show them."
"So why now, why after all these years when you haven't done anything to hurt them, would they come looking for you?"
"I guess the motorcycle is right," I answered. "They think Veggie Head Stalker is still alive and they think I know where he is."
"And the millions of shares you own in Wackemall Inc?"
"Donny, honestly, I haven't a clue as to how that happened unless someone is wanting to make me a target for the guys in the white coats."
"You've always been a target for the guys in the white coats," Donny laughed.
"I know," I laughed shaking my head, "wrong white coats, Little Brother. Wrong white coats."
When we got back to Burlington the Wackemall 750 was being its usual self, entertaining guests with poetry like this entertaining little verse it calls, Back Seat Motorcycle,
"Watch those potholes! Can't you drive?
You keep this up we'll never survive!
Watch that deer there by the road!
Watch that guardrail! Did you lick a toad..."
I've got to give credit where credit is due, having a talking motorcycle around sure can be a lot of fun. I just hope he, she, it knows how to behave in public.
Continue to Barridog Reunion.
Donny had given me a ride as the guys were no longer leaving me alone for even a second except to go to the bathroom and then only after they made sure it was empty. "Now let me get this straight," Donny asked, "All those years ago after you left the Wild Salsa Gang, you and the crazy green dude that Momma hated traveled around the world attacking fields full of vegetables?"
"Well, Veggie did most of the attacking," I replied. "I mostly just went along as his scribe."
"And that didn't seem crazy to you at the time?" Donny asked.
"They were geneticly modified vegetables."
"So."
"So, Monsanto, Ciba-Geigy, Syngenta, Dupont, Conoco and the rest of the Ag-Industrial Complex was trying to use geneticly modified foods as a form of worldwide mind control so they could turn us all into slaves."
"And you believed that?" Donny asked.
"Veggie showed me the internal documents he smuggled out of Wackemall Inc as they were kicking him out of his own company," I shouted. "I know it was true!"
"Lower your voice," Donny told me. Donny tells me quite often to lower my voice when I get irritated and while he's right it usually pisses me off. "So why didn't you go to the government?"
"We did go to the government," I moaned with my head in my hands. I got 30 days in isolation and Veggie barely escaped with his life. Watch out for that truck!"
Donny brought his pick-up to a screaching hault barely missing the tractor-trailer rig that had stopped in front of us while he was looking at me in disbelief. "They put you in jail?" he asked. "For what?"
"They never charged me with anything," I answered. "They just kept asking me all kinds of questions I didn't know anything about, shooting me up with drugs and deprived me of sleep until I went out of my mind. After that, the next thing I remember they were pushing me out onto the street. I didn't even know where I was."
"How'd you get home."
"I just started walking and after a couple of days when he was sure no one was following me, Veggie popped up out of nowhere and rescued me."
"And that's why you started riding with Veggie and left the motorcycle gang?"
"I guess so," I replied, "I never thought about it at the time, it all just sort of happened. Truck's moving, you can go now."
"So you think the government is in on this?" Donny asked.
"I know someone in the government is in on it," I answered. "I don't know who, how long or how many but those were FBI agents that locked me up without charges all those years ago, I know that because Veggie and I went to the FBI office with the documents to show them."
"So why now, why after all these years when you haven't done anything to hurt them, would they come looking for you?"
"I guess the motorcycle is right," I answered. "They think Veggie Head Stalker is still alive and they think I know where he is."
"And the millions of shares you own in Wackemall Inc?"
"Donny, honestly, I haven't a clue as to how that happened unless someone is wanting to make me a target for the guys in the white coats."
"You've always been a target for the guys in the white coats," Donny laughed.
"I know," I laughed shaking my head, "wrong white coats, Little Brother. Wrong white coats."
When we got back to Burlington the Wackemall 750 was being its usual self, entertaining guests with poetry like this entertaining little verse it calls, Back Seat Motorcycle,
You keep this up we'll never survive!
Watch that deer there by the road!
Watch that guardrail! Did you lick a toad..."
I've got to give credit where credit is due, having a talking motorcycle around sure can be a lot of fun. I just hope he, she, it knows how to behave in public.
Continue to Barridog Reunion.
