Wednesday, April 17, 2013

End Of The Innocence



After her talk with Veggie Head Stalker, Bobbie arranged to have Stewart Pittman and Fox 8 come back for a live shoot in which she made her intentions known to the world. She explained that she would be going away and that if her followers wanted her to return they must rid North Carolina of genetically modified foods by any means necessary and establish plans to rid the rest of the nation and the rest of the world of these genetic monsters. At that point she promised to return with the knowledge of many dimensions. But only if we prepared ourselves would we be capable of using what she brought back with her.

Knowing she'd have to leave her motorcycle behind, Bobbie bought a used bicycle from Merrit at Re-Cycles Bike Shop to take with her to ride in the Tall White cities. She wanted something from home to take with her and Merrit put together just exactly what she needed.

Upon her return she promised to rid Earth of the Grey Aliens and those who would help them but only if we did our part while she was away. She explained that it was through the food supply that Monsanto and other Grey Alien institutions was taking over the minds of us all and that purification of the food supply was our only hope.

So have you decided where you're going?" the Veggicycle asked as Bobbie walked from in front of Stew's camera.

"All I know is the Tall Whites are taking me to another dimension," Bobbie answered, "and when I'm done they'll bring me back home. I hope."

"They will," the Veggiecycle said. "They always keep their promises."

"How do you know?" Bobbie asked.

"They made me?" the Wackemall 750 replied. "Just like they made Veggie Head Stalker."

"You knew about them all along," Bobbie asked, "and neither you nor Veggie ever told anyone?"

"Would anyone have believed a talking motorcycle and a plant that was wanted in over 100 countries?" the Veggiecycle asked.

"Probably not," Bobbie smiled. "It's just that everything is so unknown."

"I have a poem for that," the Veggiecycle replied.

"Of course you do," Bobbie grinned as Veggie began to recite, "You have a poem for everything."

"Sometimes life takes you down a road
you've been down before.
Sometimes where you planned to go,
on time and nothing more.
But the best adventures of my life..."


"That was nice," Bobbie said, "I'm going to miss your poems."

"I could go with you," the Veggiecycle said.

"But then the others would miss your poems," Bobbie said.

"I don't think so," the Veggiecycle said. "They don't seem to like my poems."

"They just don't want to admit it," Bobbie said.

"Why not?" The Veggiecycle asked.

"It's a guy thing," Bobbie explained. "They don't like to show their softer sides because they think it makes them look weak."

"You know," the Veggiecycle exclaimed, "that explains a whole lot of things. Especially when it comes to Billy."

"It sure does," Bobbie smiled. "Especially when it comes to Billy."

__________

I had overheard what they said about me. It couldn't be farther from the truth except when it was true. Some days that was me to a tee. Okay, most days, but occasionally I'm able to see through the fog and get it together. Too bad the City of Greensboro couldn't do the same.

The City was mired in public records requests because they refused to release public records so what did people do? They asked for more public records requests which brought about more refusals from the City creating a viscous and never ending cycle that only grew bigger and costs more. Suddenly, instead of the taxpayers, it was the City of Greensboro complaining about costs but the fact was it was the the City that caused the extra costs in the first place by not making the public records public in the first place. I mean, my God, it was as if they were trying to hide the fact that Grey Aliens were running the city government.

Then to add insult to injury, the Greensboro City Council voted to bail out the richest developers in all of Greensboro with a thinly veiled grant and loan program called the "Good Repair Ordinance" that granted money to rich Downtown property owners while forcing financially strapped property owners into taking out loans they couldn't afford to repay so that their properties would be foreclosed on by a local bank owned by the Grey Aliens.

Are you confused as to if this story is really fact or fiction? I know I am and I'm the one writing it.

___________

Bobbie wasn't even gone before the media started reporting on GM crops being destroyed in the fields where they grew. Rumors of biker gangs armed with machetes and flame throwers massing in small farming towns were rampant even if unproven. One thing that was proven was that sales of our Wackemall Machetes had skyrocketed. Suddenly we were back-ordered for months.

And it wasn't just North Carolina nor was it all bikers. People all over the world from every stripe were going after GM crops, killing them where they stood. Of course it didn't take long before the media started downplaying these events acting as if they never happened but with GM food prices now exceeding organic fruits and vegetables it was easy to see that suddenly GMFs were becoming in short supply.

In other states movements were afoot to ban GM foods but GM growers were pouring Billions of Dollars into campaigns to fight the organic efforts. Frustration was running high.

It didn't take long before Monsanto and the others came looking for Bobbie. As luck would have it she was in front of live television cameras saying goodbye to her followers when they rushed the yard outside our shop hoping to grab her only to stand down when Stew and the other television photographers from WGHP swung their cameras in Monsanto's direction. The whole world watched as a heavily armed force of Tall Whites appeared out of nowhere to escort Bobbie Sonner and Veggie Head Stalker safely away to another dimension.

The end of the innocence was upon us, the revolution was beginning and many good guitars would surely die painful deaths...